Building Resilience in Kids through risky play
Written by Sophia Knoblanche
Resilience is the ability to navigate challenges and adapt to adversity and is a crucial trait for our children’s emotional and psychological well-being. We can help our kids build resilience early on to help their confidence, independence, and ability to cope with life doesn’t go as planned. Risky play has been shown to build confidence and resilience, improve self-esteem and independence, and improve problem solving. Here are some strategies to help even our youngest kids build resilience through risky play!
What is Risky Play
Risky Play is any risk your child takes while playing - no matter how small! It might mean playing a little further away from you than they usually do, or playing with an object a little less safe than they usually do, such as a stick. It depends on the age, stage and development of a child. Some examples include
- Climbing trees or playground equipment
- Jumping from heights (such as a small ledge or step)
- Playing with tools (under supervision) such as a play hammer or rope, or an imaginary tool such as sticks or rocks
- Running at high speeds or challenging their endurance - going further together on a bike ride or walk than they have before
- Balancing on wobbly surfaces or logs
How to support risky play
Support your kids playing by taking a step back and giving them a chance to work things out. Ways to do this include:
1. Watch without intervening - if its safe, allow them space to make their own choices and manage the risk themselves. Stepping back lets them gain experience in managing risk.
2. Mindful language - instead of giving instructions or warnings like ‘be careful,’ use language that draws attention to the experience, for example:
a. ‘Look how high you are! How does that feel?’
b. ‘Do you feel stable on that wobbly log?’
c. ‘That stick looks sharp. What do you think would happen if you poked it into the ground?’
3. Encourage Problem solving - ask them open ended questions to prompt their thoughts on how to manage risk, for example:
a. ‘ Whats your plan for getting to the top of the slide?’
b. ‘How do you think you can balance on that log?’
c. ‘Where will you place your foot next?’
4. Respect their pace - every kid will learn to approach risk in their own time and at their own pace. As parents it is our job to keep our kids safe, and letting them take risks can be scary! However, letting them take supervised, age-appropriate risks has been shown to have many benefits in the long run, particularly around building resilience.